Look, we all know that one trader...
The dude who discovered "one weird trick" for turning 100K into lunch money.
(If you don't know that guy... you might BE that guy. Sorry bout it.)
He's the same genius who...
- Waits for a stock to go up 300% before buying
- Follows Twitter traders with rocket emojis in their name
- Uses astrology to time his entries
- Diamond hands that shit until -99%
And NOW?
He's discovered AI trading.
God help us all.
Because here's the thing about artificial intelligence that nobody wants to admit...
It's a tool. Not a magic wand.
And like any tool, it can either help you build something amazing...
Or take your eye out.
Depends who's holding it.
The problem is... most traders are using AI the same way they use technical indicators.
They're trying to find the "perfect settings."
The "holy grail combination."
The "sure thing setup."
And they end up blowing up their accounts even FASTER...
Because now they're trading with "AI confidence."
(Which is basically regular trading confidence... but with extra sophistication in how you rationalize your losses.)
But here's the truth about AI and trading...
Used correctly, it's an absolute game changer.
Used like an idiot?
You might as well light your money on fire.
(At least that would keep you warm.)
So let's talk about how to use this shit the RIGHT way.
First, understand what AI actually DOES:
It processes data. A fuckton of data.
Way more data than your human brain could ever handle.
And it does it without emotion. Without bias. Without that little voice in your head saying "but what if THIS time is different?"
(Spoiler alert: It's never different.)
That's the REAL power of AI.
Not that it can "predict the future."
But that it can analyze the present better than we can.
While you're staring at one chart...
Drawing your cute little lines...
Thinking you've spotted a setup...
AI can analyze EVERY stock.
Looking at EVERY possible combination of variables.
Finding patterns you'd never see.
And it can do this continuously. Without getting tired. Without getting emotional. Without FOMO.
But here's where most traders fuck up:
They try to use AI to confirm their own biases.
"See? The AI agrees with me! This is definitely the bottom!"
(Narrator: It wasn't the bottom.)
Or they treat AI like a crystal ball.
"The AI said buy, so I'm going ALL IN!"
(Their account was never seen again.)
Here's how you ACTUALLY use AI for trading:
- Use it for what it's best at - Processing massive amounts of data QUICKLY.
Let it scan the entire market. Let it find the setups. Let it do the heavy lifting of analysis.
Your job isn't to outthink the AI...
It's to take the insights it gives you and apply them with some common fucking sense.
- Stop trying to make it "perfect."
AI doesn't need to be right 100% of the time.
It just needs to be right MORE often than your monkey brain would be on its own.
And trust me... that's a pretty low bar for most of us.
- Use proper position sizing and risk management.
I don't care if God himself comes down and tells you to buy a stock...
You still size your positions properly.
You still use stops.
You still manage risk.
The AI is there to help you find opportunities...
Not to replace basic trading discipline.
- Stay in your lane.
If you're a day trader, use AI to find day trading setups.
If you're a swing trader, use it for swing setups.
Don't let AI convince you to start trading crypto futures just because it spotted a pattern.
(Looking at you, Dave. Your wife's boyfriend is worried about you.)
- Keep your emotions in check.
AI doesn't get excited. AI doesn't get revenge. AI doesn't chase. AI doesn't YOLO.
So why the fuck are you doing those things?
The whole POINT of using AI is to remove emotion from the equation.
If you're still trading like a crackhead at a Vegas casino...
The AI isn't the problem.
You are.
Here's the bottom line:
AI is transforming trading.
That's not hype. That's not marketing. That's just reality.
The markets are increasingly controlled by algorithms.
That means the game is changing.
You can either adapt...
Or you can keep trying to beat supercomputers with your trusty MACD.
(Good luck with that.)
But if you're going to adapt...
Do it intelligently.
Use AI as a tool to enhance your trading...
Not as an excuse to be even dumber than usual.
Because the future of trading isn't about replacing human traders with AI.
It's about combining the best of both.
The processing power of AI...
With the judgment of an experienced trader...
And the discipline to use BOTH correctly.
That's how you actually make this shit work.
Or you can keep following Dave's trading tips.
I hear he's got a new strategy involving lunar cycles and Fibonacci spirals.
Your call.
P.S. If you enjoyed this article, you might also like this hilarious piece about how NOT to trade. It's basically Dave's biography.
P.P.S. And if you're ready to actually learn how to use AI the right way... check this out. Just try not to be like Dave about it.